Endless Birthday Farts Card with Glitter

The cover wishes a happy birthday. The inside calls them an old fart. The card proves it.

The front says "Have a Very Happy Birthday" in bright, sincere lettering. The inside reads "You Old Fart." And the moment they open it, the card starts playing fart sounds — not a song, not a melody, just relentlessly enthusiastic farts on a loop, refusing to stop.

It's juvenile, it's joyful, and it's funny for the same reason it was funny when you were eight. The recipient will almost certainly laugh, then text you "are you SERIOUS?!" — which might even start a conversation if you haven't talked in a while. Unlike a paper card that gets read once and tossed, this one keeps performing for hours. Works for dads, moms, kids, friends, and any birthday person who knows a good fart joke when they hear one.

How the Endless Card Works

1. Open the card to test the sound, sign it, then close the card to stop the sample.
2. Insert the card into the envelope and pull the tab from the spine to arm it.
3. Once they open the card, the fart sounds loop non-stop — even if they close it — and play for hours, until the battery dies.
4. If they try to break the card to stop the sound, a hidden glitter trap is waiting inside.

*Plain white envelope included in all cards

Ideas for When to Use It

• For Dad's birthday — the joke he's been telling since you were born, finally returned with interest.
• For Mom's birthday — yes, really. The "you old fart" angle works on anyone who can take a joke.
• From the kids — they will think this is the funniest card ever made. They will be correct.
• Milestone birthdays — 40th, 50th, 60th, any year that earns "old fart" status with affection.
• Office birthdays — a few minutes of this clears the conference room faster than a fire drill.