{"product_id":"double-the-valentines-day-dicks","title":"Valentine’s Day Chocolate Dick Bundle – Double the Love!","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"60\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eValentine’s Day Chocolate Dick Bundle – Double the Love!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"62\" data-end=\"518\"\u003eRoses are cliché, teddy bears are boring, but you know what never fails to make people laugh, gasp, and question your life choices? Two giant chocolate dicks, hand-molded and sent straight to your Valentine like Cupid got drunk and horny. The \u003cstrong data-start=\"305\" data-end=\"346\"\u003eValentine’s Day Chocolate Dick Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e is exactly what it sounds like – a double-barreled delivery of sweet, solid chocolate man-meat that’s guaranteed to steal the spotlight from any boring heart-shaped box.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"520\" data-end=\"672\"\u003e👉 If you want your Valentine’s gift to be remembered long after the flowers have wilted, this is it. Send chocolate dick. Send two. Make a statement.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003chr data-start=\"674\" data-end=\"677\"\u003e \u003ch2 data-start=\"679\" data-end=\"727\"\u003eWhy Two Chocolate Dicks Are Better Than One\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"729\" data-end=\"1202\"\u003eLet’s cut through the BS – Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, passion, and candy. But it’s also about making sure your gift doesn’t get tossed in a drawer with last year’s lame stuffed animal. That’s where the \u003cstrong data-start=\"950\" data-end=\"976\"\u003eDouble the Love Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e shines. Not one, but TWO solid milk chocolate dicks come packed in this cheeky Valentine’s package. You get the playful “Be Mine” edition plus the classic chocolate dick, both handcrafted for maximum shock value and flavor.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"1204\" data-end=\"1431\"\u003eThis isn’t some cheap gag candy either. Each piece is hand-poured from quality chocolate that tastes as good as it looks offensive. You’re not just pranking – you’re gifting actual deliciousness in a form they’ll never unsee.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003chr data-start=\"1433\" data-end=\"1436\"\u003e \u003ch2 data-start=\"1438\" data-end=\"1459\"\u003eHow It Plays Out\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"1461\" data-end=\"1476\"\u003ePicture this:\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"1478\" data-end=\"1844\"\u003eThey’re expecting truffles or maybe some fancy artisanal chocolates. They open the box, and bam – chocolate dick number one, boldly declaring “Be Mine.” Before they even recover, they notice chocolate dick number two lounging next to it like backup. The laughter, the awkwardness, the slow realization they’re holding a chocolate cock in each hand… it’s priceless.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"1846\" data-end=\"2006\"\u003eIt’s a gift that says, “I love you enough to spend money making you laugh your ass off.” Or maybe, “Screw you, here’s a bunch of dicks.” Either way, it lands.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003chr data-start=\"2008\" data-end=\"2011\"\u003e \u003ch2 data-start=\"2013\" data-end=\"2037\"\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cul\u003e \u003cli\u003e \u003cstrong data-start=\"2041\" data-end=\"2073\"\u003eThe “Be Mine” Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e – sweet, cheeky, and perfect for Valentine’s Day shock factor\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli\u003e \u003cstrong data-start=\"2140\" data-end=\"2186\"\u003eThe Classic Valentine’s Day Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e – timeless, edible, and just as bold\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli\u003e \u003cstrong data-start=\"2228\" data-end=\"2264\"\u003eHandcrafted Solid Milk Chocolate\u003c\/strong\u003e – rich, smooth, and way better than the sad box of candy from Walgreens\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli\u003e \u003cstrong data-start=\"2341\" data-end=\"2376\"\u003ePackaged Together in One Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e – because one dick is funny, but two is legendary\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli\u003e \u003cstrong data-start=\"2431\" data-end=\"2459\"\u003eShipped 100% Anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e – no one knows you did it unless you’re petty enough to brag\u003c\/li\u003e \u003c\/ul\u003e \u003chr data-start=\"2524\" data-end=\"2527\"\u003e \u003ch2 data-start=\"2529\" data-end=\"2562\"\u003eWho Needs This In Their Life\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cul\u003e \u003cli\u003eThat partner who already owns too many heart-shaped trinkets\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli\u003eYour best friend who thinks Valentine’s Day is a scam\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli\u003eA bachelorette crew looking for the ultimate gag gift\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli\u003eA frenemy who deserves both sweetness and shade\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli\u003eOr maybe… you, because nothing screams self-love like eating a chocolate dick alone on the couch\u003c\/li\u003e \u003c\/ul\u003e \u003chr data-start=\"2899\" data-end=\"2902\"\u003e \u003ch2 data-start=\"2904\" data-end=\"2955\"\u003eStop Pretending To Be Sweet – Be Funny Instead\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"2957\" data-end=\"3249\"\u003eValentine’s Day gifts should make people feel something. Why settle for “aww, that’s nice” when you can get “holy shit, did you just send me two chocolate dicks?” The \u003cstrong data-start=\"3124\" data-end=\"3150\"\u003eDouble the Love Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e is more than candy. It’s a story, a laugh, and a delicious memory rolled into one prank package.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"3251\" data-end=\"3323\"\u003e👉 Click buy now. Don’t half-ass your Valentine’s Day. Double-dick it.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003chr data-start=\"3325\" data-end=\"3328\"\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"3330\" data-end=\"3677\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3330\" data-end=\"3343\"\u003eIMPORTANT\u003c\/strong\u003e: \u003cem\u003eMake sure you put the recipient’s \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e and \u003cspan style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e in the shipping option. Otherwise it’s you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3493\" data-end=\"3496\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3496\" data-end=\"3556\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"3330\" data-end=\"3677\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3496\" data-end=\"3556\"\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3556\" data-end=\"3559\"\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"3559\" data-end=\"3675\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-start=\"3330\" data-end=\"3677\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"3559\" data-end=\"3675\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43250149523530,"sku":null,"price":44.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0269\/1301\/3834\/files\/Valentine_s_Day_Dick_2d306a17-c8d0-457a-9669-71640450ae9c.jpg?v=1769066877","url":"https:\/\/tirecockz.com\/products\/double-the-valentines-day-dicks","provider":"TireCockz","version":"1.0","type":"link"}