{"product_id":"bundle-offer-8","title":"All the Dicks For Valentine's Day","description":"\u003ch2 data-end=\"37\" data-start=\"0\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAll the Dicks for Valentine’s Day\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003ch2 data-end=\"112\" data-start=\"39\"\u003eRoses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, Here’s a Box of Dicks… Just for You\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"364\" data-start=\"114\"\u003eForget the flowers, screw the teddy bears, and don’t even think about dropping $90 on some half-dead roses from 1-800-Overpriced. If you really want to shock someone this Valentine’s Day, go nuclear: send them \u003cstrong data-end=\"362\" data-start=\"324\"\u003eAll the Dicks for Valentine’s Day.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"771\" data-start=\"366\"\u003eThis isn’t just a box of chocolate. It’s not just candy dicks. It’s not even just a prank bomb. This is the full buffet of chaos: the \u003cem data-end=\"528\" data-start=\"500\"\u003eBe Mine Chocolate Dick Box\u003c\/em\u003e, the \u003cem data-end=\"573\" data-start=\"534\"\u003eI’m Nuts About You Chocolate Dick Box\u003c\/em\u003e, a bag of fruity gummy dicks, a glitter-loaded prank-ready dick bomb, and the kicker… a cheeky Emojibator “Go F*** Yourself” Edition. Basically, it’s Cupid on steroids - and Cupid’s packing heat.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"888\" data-start=\"773\"\u003e👉 Don’t half-ass Valentine’s. Full-ass it. Click the damn button and \u003cstrong data-end=\"865\" data-start=\"843\"\u003esend ALL the dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e while supplies last.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003chr data-end=\"893\" data-start=\"890\"\u003e \u003ch2 data-end=\"950\" data-start=\"895\"\u003eWhy This is the Only Valentine’s Gift That Matters\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"1147\" data-start=\"952\"\u003eValentine’s Day is a scam, my friend. You spend too much money, you stress about the “perfect gift,” and what do you get in return? Melted chocolate from Walgreens and some pity sex. Hard pass.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"1514\" data-start=\"1149\"\u003eHere’s the truth: people remember laughter way longer than they remember flowers. Send someone the \u003cem data-end=\"1263\" data-start=\"1248\"\u003eAll the Dicks\u003c\/em\u003e bundle and you’re not just giving them chocolate - you’re giving them a story. A memory. A reason to tell their friends, \u003cem data-end=\"1436\" data-start=\"1385\"\u003e“You’ll never believe what showed up at my door.”\u003c\/em\u003e That’s what makes this the most legendary Valentine’s Day gift you can buy.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cul\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"1618\" data-start=\"1518\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"1568\" data-start=\"1518\"\u003ePerfect for lovers with a dirty sense of humor\u003c\/strong\u003e - nothing says “be mine” like a chocolate dick.\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"1719\" data-start=\"1621\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"1649\" data-start=\"1621\"\u003eSavage revenge for an ex\u003c\/strong\u003e - let them know you’ve moved on by mailing chaos to their doorstep.\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"1859\" data-start=\"1722\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"1745\" data-start=\"1722\"\u003eGalentine’s Day win\u003c\/strong\u003e - show your besties you care by gifting them gummy dicks and a vibrator that literally says “Go F*** Yourself.”\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"1969\" data-start=\"1862\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"1883\" data-start=\"1862\"\u003eGuaranteed laughs\u003c\/strong\u003e - because no one forgets the day they got dicks delivered in every form imaginable.\u003c\/li\u003e \u003c\/ul\u003e \u003chr data-end=\"1974\" data-start=\"1971\"\u003e \u003ch2 data-end=\"2016\" data-start=\"1976\"\u003eThe Story Practically Writes Itself\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"2491\" data-start=\"2018\"\u003ePicture it: your boyfriend thinks he’s getting some sweet romantic package. He opens the box, and \u003cem data-end=\"2122\" data-start=\"2116\"\u003eBOOM\u003c\/em\u003e - a glitter dick bomb goes off, spraying sparkles everywhere. His face turns red while you’re on the floor laughing your ass off. He wipes glitter off his shirt only to find two chocolate dick boxes staring back at him - “Be Mine” and “I’m Nuts About You.” He thinks that’s it, but nope, there’s also a bag of gummy dicks just chilling like, \u003cem data-end=\"2489\" data-start=\"2465\"\u003ehey buddy, eat us too.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"2720\" data-start=\"2493\"\u003eAnd just when he’s about to recover, there it is: the Emojibator “Go F*** Yourself” Edition. A literal mic drop of dick gifts. That’s not just Valentine’s - that’s a love story your group chat will be talking about for years.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003chr data-end=\"2725\" data-start=\"2722\"\u003e \u003ch2 data-end=\"2752\" data-start=\"2727\"\u003eWhat’s in the Bundle\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cul\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"2868\" data-start=\"2756\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"2786\" data-start=\"2756\"\u003eBe Mine Chocolate Dick Box\u003c\/strong\u003e - a romantic twist on edible dicks, perfect for the one you love (or tolerate).\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"2971\" data-start=\"2871\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"2912\" data-start=\"2871\"\u003eI’m Nuts About You Chocolate Dick Box\u003c\/strong\u003e - rich chocolate, hilarious message, nut jokes included.\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"3035\" data-start=\"2974\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"3003\" data-start=\"2974\"\u003eBag of fruity gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e - chewy, sweet, fruity chaos.\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"3146\" data-start=\"3038\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"3073\" data-start=\"3038\"\u003eSpring-loaded glitter dick bomb\u003c\/strong\u003e - prank-ready and guaranteed to explode harder than your ex’s rebound.\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"3258\" data-start=\"3149\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"3169\" data-start=\"3149\"\u003eEmojibator “Go F\u003c\/strong\u003e* Yourself” Edition** - because nothing says Valentine’s like a vibrator with attitude.\u003c\/li\u003e \u003cli data-end=\"3331\" data-start=\"3261\"\u003e \u003cstrong data-end=\"3307\" data-start=\"3261\"\u003eAnonymous shipping + free express shipping\u003c\/strong\u003e on qualifying orders.\u003c\/li\u003e \u003c\/ul\u003e \u003chr data-end=\"3336\" data-start=\"3333\"\u003e \u003ch2 data-end=\"3372\" data-start=\"3338\"\u003eDon’t Do Basic. Do Legendary.\u003c\/h2\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"3643\" data-start=\"3374\"\u003eThis Valentine’s Day, don’t be the dude or gal who brings a lame-ass teddy bear to the table. Be the legend who dropped \u003cstrong data-end=\"3520\" data-start=\"3494\"\u003eall the dicks, all day\u003c\/strong\u003e in one savage package. Chocolate, candy, pranks, glitter, and a vibrator? That’s not a gift - that’s a whole experience.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"3774\" data-start=\"3645\"\u003e👉 Smash that order button now and \u003cstrong data-end=\"3712\" data-start=\"3680\"\u003eown Valentine’s Day forever.\u003c\/strong\u003e Your partner, your ex, or your bestie will never forget it.\u003c\/p\u003e \u003chr data-end=\"3779\" data-start=\"3776\"\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"3948\" data-start=\"3781\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"3795\" data-start=\"3781\"\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cem data-end=\"3946\" data-start=\"3796\"\u003eMake sure you put the recipient's name and address in the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"4012\" data-start=\"3950\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"4010\" data-start=\"3950\"\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e \u003cp data-end=\"4136\" data-start=\"4014\"\u003e\u003cem data-end=\"4134\" data-start=\"4014\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-end=\"4133\" data-start=\"4015\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DickAtYourDoor","offers":[{"title":"bundle variant #1","offer_id":43250147065930,"sku":null,"price":95.67,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant #2","offer_id":43250147098698,"sku":null,"price":98.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"bundle variant 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